he thought i was a dude.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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