It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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