peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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