Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
