doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My pussy is not your playground.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
