Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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