You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
