we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
