I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have post one night stand depression
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
