Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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