If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
