He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize