Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
