please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
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