hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
