Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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