Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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