We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
