Don't you send me to vm
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
