oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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