The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
