I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
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Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
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