ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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