I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
