i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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