We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
