Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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