Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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