Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize