Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
