If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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