do herpes really smell.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
