I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my poor anus
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
