8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
