I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
