Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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