Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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