Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
