He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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