I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize