bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
