i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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