Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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