Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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