We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
