my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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