this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
