he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
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I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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