I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you're hired as official boob wrangler
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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