she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
