i just wanna soil my oats bro
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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