What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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