so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
