okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love you. Go after that dick
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
