do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize