Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize