Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
